What we should 'not' do when we are in love, continued...

Just like I promised, I'll continue with Kim's story in this blog. But before that, I would like to thank all my readers for reading my blogs regularly and participating in the discussions. Thank you guys, thank you so much!

In my last blog I had covered, three basic "Don't's" in a relationship that Kim had specifically mentioned during our conversation. Here are the rest, along with a few of my own  inferences.

Continued from: https://samragngiroy.blogspot.com/2018/10/what-girls-should-not-do-when-they-are.html?m=1, you should also "not":

4. Prioritise your relationship above everything and everything else.

And this is a big "No". You existed before you met your guy, you lived, you breathed, you laughed, you cried, you visited places, you hung out with your friends, you were a living breathing human being before the relationship and it's necessary that you stay that way even after you get into a relationship. There are several other people in your life, your parents who've watched you grow, your siblings who love and adore you and they should be equally important to you (in fact, they should be more important to you than your guy) because they are the ones who are ready to pick up 'your' call on the first ring, they are never gonna abandon you, they are never gonna say "It's not working out, maybe we should take a break", they are never gonna replace you with anyone else. They love you for who you are regardless of what you look like. They'll love you even if you puke on the carpet and make a mess, they'll clean it up for you. They'll love you even if you embarrass yourself in public, because it doesn't matter to them. You may not shower for three days, but they won't mind if you stink. They'll probably suggest you should take a bath, but there's no way that they'll start loving you less, because you are human and it's natural that you'll stink if you sweat, whether you've washed or not. You can be yourself with them. Their love is a kind of love that one can never fall out of. Their kind of love is selfless, unconditional, irrevocable, unless of course, you go overboard in being a selfish bitch to them. So, value them more. Prioritise them above everyone and everything else. They deserve it, per se. Kim hadn't, and now she regrets it. Because when the guy dumped her, her parents and siblings were the only people who stood by her side, in spite of her not treating them the way they deserved to be treated.

5. Place your worth in your SO's hands.

Kim wouldn't feel pretty if her guy didn't say, "Darling, you look so beautiful in that dress!" even if she looked dazzling. Kim stopped writing poems just because her guy ran out of appreciation, she didn't think she was good enough any more. She was a proud and talented woman with extremely high standards before she fell in love with her guy, but one year into the relationship, she lost all self confidence. Now she needed constant validation from her guy. She became indecisive because she could no longer decide for herself. And she was perpetually unhappy because her guy wasn't warm enough to her anymore. The same guy who had once been star struck by her charm, who had gone out of his way to win her love, no longer found it necessary to woo her because he had won her already and she was 'all in' for him. He became too secure about the relationship and didn't see the need to put in efforts from his side anymore. And that's what vexed Kim. She saw his complacency as a sign that he wasn't interested in her anymore and that completely crushed her. Not just her faith in love, but also her faith in her own self and her own capabilities. But had she not given a damn about his validations, she'd still have been the efficient woman, glowing with confidence and pride.

6. Trust the future, however pleasant it may seem.

The dreams we have about our future with the guy we love are often completely illusory and one sided. Don't dream about the future too much, don't trust it. Very often, we dream so hard that we start feeding off of our dreams and they look like the ultimate. Any potential danger that threatens to shatter or cause a crack in the castles of our dreams, throws us completely off guard and we start panicking. We should have plans apart from the relationship, plans for our own selves, things we want to do, goals we would like to achieve. Love comes and goes unexpectedly. It's uncertain because it's not completely in our hands. It takes two to tango, and we can't control the other, we cannot force them to be as invested in the relationship as we are, we cannot prevent them from going astray if that's what they have decided on. So, what do we hold on to when the worst befalls? Our goals. Our goals are in our hands. We have the power to make them happen. And we should. Love is like a game of luck. Treat it that way. Be thankful as long as you're lucky. Be grateful. Love selflessly when you do. But at the same time be strong enough to rise up again when you breakdown. Train yourself that way. Start now.

That's all for today, I guess?

Hope this blog helped! Don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comment section below. I'd love to read them.

Sayonara, Beautiful ♥️

What we should 'not' do when we are in love.

So, I got this "now-flawsome" friend who had once messed up big time in her relationship! And she'll be my guinea pig for this blog. Umm... hehe? We had this heart-to-heart discussion after she broke up with her "perfect" guy and I'm just gonna repeat everything she said to me amidst tears and chuckles, everything she thinks she did wrong right from the very start. I ain't gonna take her name of course. But let's just call her Kim. Shall we?

Before you make your wild assumptions, let me be clear about a few things. She ain't anything like Kim Kardashian. And I'm using her as my guinea pig solely because she personally asked me to share her story with as many people as I can, so that they don't make the same mistakes. You got an Ancient Mariner kinda vibe there, huh? But no. She didn't kill any albatross. In fact, she "was" the albatross in this situation. No, I'm afraid, she wasn't. Let me rephrase it. She was a Swan. Bella Swan, to be more apt. Who had mistaken an ordinary guy for Edward Cullen.

Now this is what she's got to say about her BIG mistake.

When you are in a relationship, DON'T:

1. Forget the things that had always made you happy before you got into the relationship.

Very often, we tend to put all our ambitions on the backseat when we are in love. We are so wrapped up in the thoughts of our beloved that we miss out on the more important things in life. We give up on many a golden opportunity to spend more time with them. And by more time, I mean "every moment" of our existence that we can afford after we're done with work, studying for exams, and just basically all the extremely necessary things that we got to do everyday no matter what. Kim used to be a great poet before she signed up for a perfect three-year writers' block the day she signed in to a new relationship. Well, not technically that very day. But you can say, a few months later. It's was all flowery at first, she wrote him long, long, very long love poems. Made him cute cards and stuff. He used to appreciate her efforts initially, and go "wow-baby-that's-amazing!" and "you-got-magic-in your-hand" sorta thing but then he kind of ran out of admiration having used up pretty much every bit of it. And then one fine day, she too just ran out of all her amazing ideas. She ran out of lines. She didn't even have the patience to complete reading a book. She didn't think she was cut out for writing or reading or anything for that matter. She gave up! The same girl who used to devour a book a day was now only willing to talk to her bae 24×7. Unfortunately he grew tired of it, like one grows tired of every good thing in the world when it's available in excess. Now she couldn't even write, neither was her bae willing to spend every moment of "his" existence with her. Cause let's be honest, who does that? (except for Edward Cullen) *sighs*. She had read too much of Twilight in her teenage years and that's when she had actually effed up.

2. Say 'goodbye' to your friends.

Kim used to be a really lonely sort of person right since primary school. She made friends but never really connected with them on any deeper level. They were just there in her life, up for a good time. She was always waiting for that one guy who she would meet someday and there would be a spark immediately and everything would start making sense. She was waiting for her black and white world to acquire colour when she'd meet him. Filmy, huh? I remember how she'd never be invited to any of the parties or hangouts while we were still in school. One day I saw her crying about this during lunchtime and I remember what she had said to me, "It doesn't matter they didn't invite me. I can't participate in their discussions anyway. I never fit in. But it won't matter when I find him. These stupid things won't matter at all. And I'm ready to wait for that day." But later, during the last years of school she did make a few friends with whom she hung out. She looked happier. But when five years later she hooked up with this guy, it was really sort of casual at first until she started to try and connect with him emotionally like she always wanted to do. And that's when she gave up on all her old friends including me. She didn't even try to keep in touch. This new guy had become the be all and end all of her existence. She had clearly taken the whole 'Edward Cullen' thing too seriously. And she had to pay for it. Because she didn't really find anybody to fall back on when Edward Cullen started to behave like Nick Dunne. (Don't know who he is? He's that asshole from 'Gone Girl'. Does that ring a bell?)

3. Be ready to slave over them all the time.

Bella really didn't have to study much, all with Alice's visions and Edward's mind reading abilities. Plus, she had no future to worry about. Forever was given to her in a platter with eternal Youth and Beauty and Perfection as complimentary items. On top of that, the Cullens were filthy rich, they never had to make both ends meet. So, basically, Stephanie had taken care of making everything extremely convenient for them. Wish God were half as kind with us, eh? What I'm trying to say is, with everything being so convenient, Bella and Edward had nothing much to do. They could slave over each other as much as they wanted to. But newsflash! Reality is hardly as perfect. Here, we gotta go to work! We gotta get our asses moving if we want to live. We gotta be strong and hard-working. We gotta study cause we can neither see the future nor read minds. Nothing is provided in a platter. This is what Kim couldn't accept. She dwelt on these ideas, and being privileged, she didn't have to worry about making both ends meet either. She slaved over her guy day in and day out and he sort of started taking her for granted. He knew she would always be available, to receive his calls at the first ring and reply to his texts in five seconds. And that sort of ruined things for Kim because now her guy had started viewing her as a commonplace, everyday thing. He wasn't Edward Cullen of course. And Stephanie doesn't give us a picture of what happens after Breaking Dawn Part 2. I'm sure Edward and Bella have both gotten bored of each other's company by now.

Oh shit, this blog's getting a bit too lengthy. But the points need explanation. So, that's all for today. I will continue with this blog, and will try to upload the second part of it as soon as possible. There are plenty of 'Don't's that I haven't yet covered. That I'll do in my next blog. So, stay tuned for more. And don't forget to let me know what you think right down in the comment section below. You don't necessarily need to be a Blogger user to comment. Feel free to express your opinions.

Sayonara (for today)!

Let's fight Insecurity together!

In my last blog, we discussed about the most common triggers that give rise to insecurity. Now that we've got to know them better, what are we waiting for? Let's fight it together!

You certainly didn't think I was gonna leave you with a bunch of problems merely identified, did you? I couldn't have done so, because being Flawsome isn't just about knowing our flaws. It's primarily about accepting them and embracing them. It's about "changing what can be changed", remember? And Insecurity is one such bitch! It isn't a scar across your face that's permanent and cannot be concealed without layers of foundation or removed without surgery. It's something in your mind. It's a demon sitting in there prompting you to be a loser, everytime you try to reach out for happiness, by reminding you of precisely those things that you've always wished you could forget.

Newsflash: It's high time you kicked his butt!

Now, how to kick his butt? Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you how. You can say, I have kind of become an authority on this subject.
(Just kidding!)

To kick Insecurity's butt, you must:

1. Let the dead past bury it's dead.

Your guy cheated on you, huh? Took fancy to some other ''prettier, sexier, funnier" chick? Let him go. Let it all go! What's meant to stay will stay. Believe in this and burn that sad chapter from the book of your life. I know it's hard. The memories are suffocating. They slice through your heart like a butcher's blade whenever you catch a whiff of that perfume or listen to an old song that you both loved to hum together to. Let it go, girl, let the dead past bury it's dead. Don't be like my friend Demi and let your insecurities make a fool of you. Reach out for happiness. Reach out for the "better" just like your guy thinks he did. Don't let that one incident change your worldview. Not every guy is an asshole. You certainly didn't deserve one and you should be glad that the trash took itself out without your having to move a finger. Be happy! Move on!

2. Beauty isn't everything.

YES! BEAUTY ISN'T EVERYTHING! It's something extremely temporary in it's effect and kind of tragic because it leads to errors in judgements. "A thing of beauty isn't a joy forever" because beauty like everything else is subject to depreciation. Beauty fades with time. And I know you've heard this million times before. So, let me come up with something new, if love is built only on the shallow foundations of beauty, it isn't likely to last too long even if beauty doesn't fade. It's just because one gets tired of it after a point of time. You are bound to get tired of eating marshmallows if you indulge too much in them, regardless of the fact that they are your favorite. Just like you forgot all about that shiny new toy once you found a newer toy that attracted your attention in the store. It doesn't matter whether this new toy was prettier than your old toy or not. It might not have been as lovely as the old one but it's still 'new', right? So, there's absolutely no reason why you should feel insecure about your looks when you see "pretty" girls around. Think of the kind of pain they'll have to go through when their guys, who had once made them feel like they were Goddesses, abandon them for newer varieties. Now who's at a disadvantage, huh?

3. Strive towards being beautiful inside.

A beautiful heart is more appealing long term than just a pretty face. And you shouldn't just have ''love" as your target when you strive towards having a beautiful heart. In fact, love shouldn't be one of your priorities at all. Love is uncertain. It's unpredictable. You cannot control another person's thoughts, instincts, urges and changing likes and dislikes. And if you are always on tenterhooks, trying to manipulate your partner, trying to control and restrict every aspect of his life, you'll just be regarded as a "control freak". Insecurities disappear when you're not in love. Because you don't give a shit about having to impress anyone. You can just be yourself, the awesome flawsome person that you are! Isn't that a great feeling? That's the feeling of true emotional independence. And that's how you should be regardless of whether you're in love or not! Be kind. Be generous. Not just to your beloved but to everyone. Because you receive what you give. Let everyone see what a beautiful heart you've got!

4. Learn to let go and go with the flow.

Let go. Don't try to control. Remember, what's meant to be will be. Quoting Hamlet, "There's Providence even in the fall of a sparrow," so you cannot quite make things happen the way you want even if you try your best. Go with the flow. You are unique and you were born to be the way you are. This is the body you gotta live with. You cannot go back in time and undo what's already been done. So, instead fretting about everything that's wrong with you and everything that you couldn't do right, be more of who you are. Trust me, the world will adjust. (Of course, don't be a psychopath, c'mon I didn't mean that) Once you make yourself a priority, once you put your own happiness on the highest pedestal, there'll be absolutely nothing that anyone does which can affect you negatively.

5. Dream big.

Dream big, babe! Don't be content with the moon when you can shoot for the stars. Make a list of all your superb achievements and also another list of the things you wanna do in your lifetime. Stick them to your wall, look at them every day and work towards fulfilling all of them, one at a time. Be ambitious. Be brave. Don't narrow down your worth to what other people think of you. What you think of yourself is most important and that will automatically reflect in the way your carry yourself. We are so often thinking about how 'we' come across that we dont really have the time to judge other people. And the ones who judge simply do so to cover up their own insecurities. So, don't judge others. And don't let anybody else's opinion of you affect you. Treat yourself better cause you are your own hero. Everyone is busy fighting their own battles. Be your own warrior and be good at it.

6. You are not the best and you don't need to be.

You are not the best and you cannot be. Nobody can be. One single person cannot be an expert at every possible skill and also be endowed with the looks and stature and graces of Apollo/Helen. It isn't feasible. You already know that? Well, I'm aware of it. But can you accept that? If not, it's about time that you do. Every person you come across is superior to you in some way or the other. And I know many of you must be thinking right now, "C'mon we know that too already. Unless you are a God or something, you cannot expect to be omnipotent and omniperfect." Okay. I will introduce y'all to Zeus someday. He was pretty omnipotent, but omniperfect? Ahem. To be perfect, you gotta be in control all the fricking time. But Zeus couldn't even control his celestial d**k! Which is why his wife/sister Hera was so pissed off always! Which is why she couldn't kick Insecurity's butt! Perfect or not, Zeus was a super chilled out dude. And Hera was not. She was always on the lookout for which mortal/immortal woman Zeus was banging from time to time. She was thus always anxious to be the "fairest" of all Goddesses, the best! I'm sure the Trojan war wouldn't have taken place at all if Hera knew how to be Flawsome. But she clearly didn't know. Wait, am I even qualified to judge Gods?

The happiest person is the one who has no insecurities. And such people are rare to find. But look for miserable people who are foaming at the mouth with insecurities, you will find them everywhere. So, what's your goal? You cannot have zero insecurity for certain, until and unless you decide to renounce all wordly pleasures and go live on the mountains but you can surely be happy if not the 'happiest'. And to be happy, really really happy, you need to be Flawsome. You need to be in love with your awesome flawsome self! This won't happen overnight but why not give it a shot?

Why do we feel insecure?

Feelings of insecurity are very deep rooted and it is not easy to let go of them. Insecurity is an extremely draining emotional phenomenon which affects our personality in ways we cannot imagine. Harbouring long term insecurity and ignoring it can lead to total distortion of an individual's general worldview. Constant despair, dejection, anxiety followed by social withdrawal and a general feeling of discontentment with everything that's happening in and around one's life are some of the debilitating impacts of suppressed insecurity.

The best way to combat insecurity is to understand what triggers it. There are a few major causes that trigger insecurity which we may not always realise:

1.  Traumatic experiences of the past.

Walk down your memory lane and you may chance upon a few pebbles that you stumbled over. You still remember how you fell, right? You can't tell whether it was the road that slapped your face or it was your face that actually did the slapping. Whatever it was, it left scars. Or maybe a broken nose that now looks fine but hasn't yet healed completely. Don't take me literally. All I meant to say is, you might have experienced instances of unpleasantness in your past, like getting rejected at an audition or being laughed at or booed when you tried to perform on stage. Well, ouch! We all know it hurts. It hurts real bad. And it's not something that can be forgotten easily. Incidents like these destroy our self esteem and scar us forever. Even years later when you go up on stage, the entire incident plays on replay by default and you instantly feel weak at the knees and try to back out. You try your best to keep away from doing the things that brought you shame. Now that's insecurity.

2.  Rejection by partner or love interest.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies. And even after you have tried your best or given your all you may be unable to satisfy your partner. I once had a friend, let's call her Demi, who according to popular conventions was what one can safely call an epitome of 'perfection'. She was not only intelligent but also damn smart and attractive. I knew her personally so I can tell that there was more to her than just her looks and intellect. She was extremely kind and empathetic too, the kind of girl every man wants! But two years into a seemingly 'perfect' relationship, she was cheated on by her guy who we all had once believed would be the last guy on Earth to cheat on a girl like Demi. It's been a year, and Demi still has cold feet when she thinks of getting into another relationship. She has not only developed a general dislike for men but she also flinches at the idea of falling in love again. The girl who used to turn heads when she walked into a room now tries to keep away from social gatherings as best as she can. Insecurity wins!

3.  Fear of failure.

Remember the time when you came last in that extempore contest? Yeah, of course you remember! Cause that's all you do, you remember the time you came last and never want to hold the mic again. In spite of being a fantastic speaker you don't want to speak ever again because four years ago you had come last in some silly extempore contest that nobody remotely remembers today. You're afraid you'll fail again. You're afraid there are others who are better than you. So, instead of just bettering yourself to put up a tough fight against them, you have taken a permanent seat in the audience. You can't lose if you don't try, right? Hence, you've happily stopped trying. Because you now firmly believe that the one way to avoid failure is to not try in the first place.

4.  Critical parents or partner.

You are one unlucky soul if you fall in this category. I bet your neighbours have kept a track record of all your failures right since you learnt to write A B C because your mum could hardly keep her voice down. I bet you still hate Monty, your next door neighbour's some for scoring A+ in Maths when you were twelve years old and had only managed to bag a C. Monty is unfortunately still the topper, he has not an iota of grudge against you. He's never had any. But you're afraid to bring your girlfriend home because every time Monty sees your girlfriend, even by accident, you think he's gonna cast some love charm on her that will immediately make her super willing to walk out of your life and right into his. You smile at him when he innocently waves at you from his garden, but on the inside you can't help but wish he were dead.

5.  Perfectionism or setting extremely high standards for oneself.

Perfect grades, perfect outfits, perfect butts, perfect figure, perfect gait, perfect boyfriend, that's all you want. Anything less than perfect and you start having anxiety attacks. You want to be the best in everything because being second best looks like the greatest insult to you. You can't stand being inferior to anybody in any way. And by chance if your best friend scores the highest in an exam, or the new girl has sharper facial features and better hair, you can't help going green and red in intervals.

6.  Unrealistic expectations.

You have unrealistic expectations not only from your own self but also from the others in your life and that can't be a major source of insecurity when these expectations are not met. You expect your boyfriend to be super affectionate to you all the time, cause- Hey! That's what love is supposed to be like! Even if he's got a leech biting on his ass, he's gotta suck it all up and recite a poem or sing a song on how cute you look when you sneeze. And if he doesn't do that, "It's not working out, babe." You think he isn't attracted to you anymore. You assume he's taken a fancy to someone else. Just because he isn't "awww-babying" you anymore.

7.  Unhealthy competitiveness.

You've been brought up as a rat and a rat race is the only race you've ever learnt to run. You don't know how to take things slow. You don't know how to sit back and relax. You are always tensed and freaking out. You can't afford to be half a mark behind. And if it's not you who's won then you're sure something is wrong with the game, or with the umpire. The judges were partial perhaps- it was DOWNRIGHT FAVORITISM! You cry down the winner. You cry down the judges, the game, and practically everything. You develop extreme hostility towards the person who has won and you never look each other in the eye and smile across the hallways or wave at each other down the corridors. Or perhaps you lose all the positivity and confidence that you ever had in yourself and have nervous breakdowns before every exam, match or contest, et cetera.

8. Poor body image.

Everything is wrong with your body. It's too hairy in all the wrong places. You've got a few dark spots on your face that look atrocious! You don't have a flat tummy, you are too short/too tall. Hence, you think you don't deserve to be loved. You are scared that once the person you love gets to see all your flaws up close, he'll stop being in love with you. He'll compare you with those fashion magazine models and showbiz celebrities and soon fall out of love with you. Tell me one thing, is he perfect? Does he have the kind of body that male magazine models have? Is he ready to go waxing with you and have his body hair waxed so that you can both be even? Does he have perfect hair, a perfectly spotless face? He DOESN'T! And he doesn't expect you to live up to those shitty unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection either.

AND IF HE DOES, YOU BETTER DUMP HIM RIGHT NOW, AT THIS VERY MOMENT!

I've recently watched a movie on Netflix which has helped me enormously to get over my insecurities and so I'm gonna attach a link of it's trailer right down here. Go ahead, give it a watch. I promise you won't be disappointed.  Nappily Ever After (2018) trailer

How to be Flawsome?

To be 'flawsome' we must first have a clear understanding of what the word actually stands for. If you don't already know what it is, let me give you a heads up. The term 'Flawsome' can be used for an individual who acknowledges and embraces his/her 'flaws' and knows he/she is 'awesome' anyway! So, you see the connection now, huh? Flawed + Awesome = Flawsome. It's all about being endlessly flawed and completely chilled out about it instead of mopping around with a sullen face and zero self esteem. Cool, huh?

It nearly seems impossible nowadays to actually be Flawsome. Like they say, "better said than done". It doesn't take a penny to declare "Yo guys! I don't give a shit about my failures, imperfections, drawbacks and weaknesses. I'm glad to be me! I don't care what anybody else thinks of me." But do we really mean it? Ask yourself.

Everyday we're reminded of how flawed we are. And somehow flaws have become more physical and external than internal. A look in a mirror is all that it takes to be convinced that we're beyond imperfect. The sources that remind us time and again of how flawed we are, are so endless! You switch on the T.V, you come across commercials that glorify skinniness and light skin tones, perfect hair and teeth, spotless faces and underarms, and then you feel like you're dead for the rest of the day. You flip through the airbrushed pages of a fashion magazine, and you hit the stumps. Even if you do not hit the stumps right away, you become cranky and gloomy and shout at people for no reason, listen to emo songs and end up tearing a bunch of pages from your gratitude journal or deleting five of some really beautiful selfies from your Instagram account, because you believe they aren't perfect. The skinny model in the fashion magazine is what defines perfection for you now. Those artificially glossed over butts are the only kind of butts that you want to have.

Keep the physical aside, you compare yourselves to your classmates or fellow associates, you look at their achievements, their activities, their 'oh-so-happening' lives, their perfect parents and perfect grades and perfect relationships and never-empty purses and feel wretched. A feeling of inferiority overwhelms you. And eventually you walk into depression, constantly feeling you aren't good enough, that you do not deserve the best.

So, what can you do to stop feeling this way?

1. Change what can be changed.

I am not going to give a sermon on how we should be perfectly content even if we weigh 90 kgs. That's not what being Flawsome essentially means. If you weigh 90 kgs and you're sure it's not a medical condition that's responsible for your being overweight, it's high time you should get your lazy ass moving, simply because you aren't fit and being overweight is not healthy. Change what can be changed. Cut down on your calorie intake. Watch what you eat. Don't binge on fast food. Exercise. Exercise. Exercise. If you're dissatisfied with your grades, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, for God's sake! Cut off from all distractions, change your study habits, get the help of a friend or a teacher chalk out a study schedule and stick to it. Don't be a procrastinator. Remember, good things in life never come easy.

2. Accept what cannot be changed.

Now if you're dissatisfied with the color of your skin, the sound of your voice, or the way your hair curls, or the way you stammer while you speak, it's high time you realise that there are things that cannot be changed. You can straighten your hair if you don't like your curls, but there are plenty of risks involved. Moreover, these things aren't permanent and they cost a fortune, you gotta keep going to the salon for maintainence. Aaargh! You cannot change the colour of your skin or the sound of your voice. Unless of course you are so desperate that you want to opt for melanin treatments and multiple surgeries. But why? Have you asked yourself why you want to change them? Just because the guy/girl you're crushing on doesn't like them that way. Really? Is he/she really worth it if he/she cannot accept you for the way you are?

3. Discover your calling.

We all have that one thing that we can do best. Find that out and give your all to it! If you can sketch/paint, improve on it. If you can sing, go out there and grab the mike. If you can dance, don't just let the four walls of your room be your audience. If you're a bookworm, read, read, read. Be a smartass intellectual! Reach new levels of excellence. If you like to play video games, and that's all you're good at, you still have hope! Look at PewDiePie! Haven't heard of him? GOOGLE, RIGHT NOW! He dropped out of college to play video games, showcased his talent on YouTube and today he's the greatest YouTuber alive with over 66M subscribers, living a lavish life and earning in millions! So, discover your calling and give it your all.

4. Be confident and make yourself a priority.

You are perfect just the way you are! You are unique. For once, stop trying to change yourself for others and learn to be in love with who you are. Be flawed. Be proud to be flawed. Your flaws are a part of who you are so show them off! Own them! Be bold! Be you! Remember one thing, confidence is the sexiest accessory you can ever own. Walk with pride, with your head held high. Smile. Not the goofy smile. Not the nervous smile. The confident smile. That smile with a little touch of mystery that will make others wonder what you're hiding in that head of yours. Remember to breathe. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is content with what they have. They all have battles that they're fighting every day. The ones who look perfect are simply good at keeping it all inside.

5. Remember who you are.

Don't lose yourself in a mindless quest for perfection. Remember who you are, and what you want to become. You are important. You are an individual. And you were not born to please other people's eyes or carve your identity based on their preferences. You were born to be you. You were born to live your life the way you want to. You have your own set of values and beliefs which you should not forsake for fitting into silly stereotypes. You are beautiful, just the way you are. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't worth it. You are worth every bit of it. Believe in yourself. Have faith. Be the best version of yourself.

Cause if not you, who?
Cause if not now, when?

Change what you can change. Everything else will fall in place. Be flawed. Be awesome! Be wonderfully Flawsome!
And remember, you are not alone.