Just like I promised, I'll continue with Kim's story in this blog. But before that, I would like to thank all my readers for reading my blogs regularly and participating in the discussions. Thank you guys, thank you so much!
In my last blog I had covered, three basic "Don't's" in a relationship that Kim had specifically mentioned during our conversation. Here are the rest, along with a few of my own inferences.
Continued from: https://samragngiroy.blogspot.com/2018/10/what-girls-should-not-do-when-they-are.html?m=1, you should also "not":
4. Prioritise your relationship above everything and everything else.
And this is a big "No". You existed before you met your guy, you lived, you breathed, you laughed, you cried, you visited places, you hung out with your friends, you were a living breathing human being before the relationship and it's necessary that you stay that way even after you get into a relationship. There are several other people in your life, your parents who've watched you grow, your siblings who love and adore you and they should be equally important to you (in fact, they should be more important to you than your guy) because they are the ones who are ready to pick up 'your' call on the first ring, they are never gonna abandon you, they are never gonna say "It's not working out, maybe we should take a break", they are never gonna replace you with anyone else. They love you for who you are regardless of what you look like. They'll love you even if you puke on the carpet and make a mess, they'll clean it up for you. They'll love you even if you embarrass yourself in public, because it doesn't matter to them. You may not shower for three days, but they won't mind if you stink. They'll probably suggest you should take a bath, but there's no way that they'll start loving you less, because you are human and it's natural that you'll stink if you sweat, whether you've washed or not. You can be yourself with them. Their love is a kind of love that one can never fall out of. Their kind of love is selfless, unconditional, irrevocable, unless of course, you go overboard in being a selfish bitch to them. So, value them more. Prioritise them above everyone and everything else. They deserve it, per se. Kim hadn't, and now she regrets it. Because when the guy dumped her, her parents and siblings were the only people who stood by her side, in spite of her not treating them the way they deserved to be treated.
5. Place your worth in your SO's hands.
Kim wouldn't feel pretty if her guy didn't say, "Darling, you look so beautiful in that dress!" even if she looked dazzling. Kim stopped writing poems just because her guy ran out of appreciation, she didn't think she was good enough any more. She was a proud and talented woman with extremely high standards before she fell in love with her guy, but one year into the relationship, she lost all self confidence. Now she needed constant validation from her guy. She became indecisive because she could no longer decide for herself. And she was perpetually unhappy because her guy wasn't warm enough to her anymore. The same guy who had once been star struck by her charm, who had gone out of his way to win her love, no longer found it necessary to woo her because he had won her already and she was 'all in' for him. He became too secure about the relationship and didn't see the need to put in efforts from his side anymore. And that's what vexed Kim. She saw his complacency as a sign that he wasn't interested in her anymore and that completely crushed her. Not just her faith in love, but also her faith in her own self and her own capabilities. But had she not given a damn about his validations, she'd still have been the efficient woman, glowing with confidence and pride.
6. Trust the future, however pleasant it may seem.
The dreams we have about our future with the guy we love are often completely illusory and one sided. Don't dream about the future too much, don't trust it. Very often, we dream so hard that we start feeding off of our dreams and they look like the ultimate. Any potential danger that threatens to shatter or cause a crack in the castles of our dreams, throws us completely off guard and we start panicking. We should have plans apart from the relationship, plans for our own selves, things we want to do, goals we would like to achieve. Love comes and goes unexpectedly. It's uncertain because it's not completely in our hands. It takes two to tango, and we can't control the other, we cannot force them to be as invested in the relationship as we are, we cannot prevent them from going astray if that's what they have decided on. So, what do we hold on to when the worst befalls? Our goals. Our goals are in our hands. We have the power to make them happen. And we should. Love is like a game of luck. Treat it that way. Be thankful as long as you're lucky. Be grateful. Love selflessly when you do. But at the same time be strong enough to rise up again when you breakdown. Train yourself that way. Start now.
That's all for today, I guess?
Hope this blog helped! Don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comment section below. I'd love to read them.
Sayonara, Beautiful ♥️
In my last blog I had covered, three basic "Don't's" in a relationship that Kim had specifically mentioned during our conversation. Here are the rest, along with a few of my own inferences.
Continued from: https://samragngiroy.blogspot.com/2018/10/what-girls-should-not-do-when-they-are.html?m=1, you should also "not":
4. Prioritise your relationship above everything and everything else.
And this is a big "No". You existed before you met your guy, you lived, you breathed, you laughed, you cried, you visited places, you hung out with your friends, you were a living breathing human being before the relationship and it's necessary that you stay that way even after you get into a relationship. There are several other people in your life, your parents who've watched you grow, your siblings who love and adore you and they should be equally important to you (in fact, they should be more important to you than your guy) because they are the ones who are ready to pick up 'your' call on the first ring, they are never gonna abandon you, they are never gonna say "It's not working out, maybe we should take a break", they are never gonna replace you with anyone else. They love you for who you are regardless of what you look like. They'll love you even if you puke on the carpet and make a mess, they'll clean it up for you. They'll love you even if you embarrass yourself in public, because it doesn't matter to them. You may not shower for three days, but they won't mind if you stink. They'll probably suggest you should take a bath, but there's no way that they'll start loving you less, because you are human and it's natural that you'll stink if you sweat, whether you've washed or not. You can be yourself with them. Their love is a kind of love that one can never fall out of. Their kind of love is selfless, unconditional, irrevocable, unless of course, you go overboard in being a selfish bitch to them. So, value them more. Prioritise them above everyone and everything else. They deserve it, per se. Kim hadn't, and now she regrets it. Because when the guy dumped her, her parents and siblings were the only people who stood by her side, in spite of her not treating them the way they deserved to be treated.
5. Place your worth in your SO's hands.
Kim wouldn't feel pretty if her guy didn't say, "Darling, you look so beautiful in that dress!" even if she looked dazzling. Kim stopped writing poems just because her guy ran out of appreciation, she didn't think she was good enough any more. She was a proud and talented woman with extremely high standards before she fell in love with her guy, but one year into the relationship, she lost all self confidence. Now she needed constant validation from her guy. She became indecisive because she could no longer decide for herself. And she was perpetually unhappy because her guy wasn't warm enough to her anymore. The same guy who had once been star struck by her charm, who had gone out of his way to win her love, no longer found it necessary to woo her because he had won her already and she was 'all in' for him. He became too secure about the relationship and didn't see the need to put in efforts from his side anymore. And that's what vexed Kim. She saw his complacency as a sign that he wasn't interested in her anymore and that completely crushed her. Not just her faith in love, but also her faith in her own self and her own capabilities. But had she not given a damn about his validations, she'd still have been the efficient woman, glowing with confidence and pride.
6. Trust the future, however pleasant it may seem.
The dreams we have about our future with the guy we love are often completely illusory and one sided. Don't dream about the future too much, don't trust it. Very often, we dream so hard that we start feeding off of our dreams and they look like the ultimate. Any potential danger that threatens to shatter or cause a crack in the castles of our dreams, throws us completely off guard and we start panicking. We should have plans apart from the relationship, plans for our own selves, things we want to do, goals we would like to achieve. Love comes and goes unexpectedly. It's uncertain because it's not completely in our hands. It takes two to tango, and we can't control the other, we cannot force them to be as invested in the relationship as we are, we cannot prevent them from going astray if that's what they have decided on. So, what do we hold on to when the worst befalls? Our goals. Our goals are in our hands. We have the power to make them happen. And we should. Love is like a game of luck. Treat it that way. Be thankful as long as you're lucky. Be grateful. Love selflessly when you do. But at the same time be strong enough to rise up again when you breakdown. Train yourself that way. Start now.
That's all for today, I guess?
Hope this blog helped! Don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comment section below. I'd love to read them.
Sayonara, Beautiful ♥️
Thank you for reminding how important it is to love and respect oneself. No other person can ever define our worth. I sincerely believe that the most important aspect of a relationship is freedom to be who we are as individuals. Keep writing Motivator.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this lovely comment! Yeah, it's very important to love and respect oneself because the others shall only treat you the way you treat yourself. So, it's important to have high standards which also implies that we should never lower our standards to fit into someone else's picture. Stay tuned, I shall keep posting more 😃
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