Starting out very young, as a writer, is never easy. Especially if you're introverted, ambitious and idealistic as a teen. I started out when I was only sixteen years old. I thought I could write a novel which would inspire people to look at 'love' differently. Mind you, I didn't know shit about love back when I was 16. Neither was I ever in a relationship nor did I have any real life example to draw inspiration from. And all those lessons on love which I believed would 'stir the world' were gathered from different works of fiction and my own teenage fantasies.
The destiny of every illusion is disillusionment.
Mine weren't any exception.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I had this dream, this burning desire to be a published author, which kept me up all night and I wanted to do something about it.
When I started out, I had zero knowledge about how to write, publish or market books. I had no clue about formatting, typesetting or editing. I didn't know the difference between traditional publishers and vanity publishers. I wasn't aware that an amazing, cost-effective platform called KDP even existed. I was never on social media. I started from zero, all alone, with nobody to help me or guide me through the whole process.
And I was thoroughly cheated.
Quite natural, right? That's what usually happens when you have to depend on other people for something you have no knowledge about. The moment they get a whiff of your ignorance, they sink their teeth into it.
Yes, my interviews featured in different newspapers, I was felicitated in my school, yada yada yada, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. My friends and followers on social media only knew what I let them know. I celebrated my little successes and never opened my mouth about the losses my parents had to suffer. And all the limelight I received as a young author, was short-lived.
My work was not up to the mark. It had several glaring errors which my publisher never bothered to bring to my notice. Starting from the formatting, the typesetting, the proofreading, inconsistencies in the plot, to the cover page designing- none of it was properly executed, even though I was charged separately for all of these services. The critiques naturally went hard on me. They ridiculed the layout, the format, the typesetting, the punctuations, which were all out of whack. I was heartbroken. I never thought I would be able to write again. And well, for three years, I almost didn't.
The only thing that I thought would make me, my school and my parents proud, stuck out like a sore thumb and became a cause of perpetual embarrassment for me.
I left social media. Focused on my ISC. Graduated from school. And didn't think of holding the pen again for a very long time. I got admitted to Jadavpur University, and even though my experience there has been bittersweet, choosing JU over DU, continues to be the 'one' decision in my life I shall never regret. And I thank my mother for it. She was one who pushed me to sit for the JU entrance exam when I was hell bent on going to LSR instead.
JU transformed me.
And whoever I am today, whatever I stand for, whatever I have learnt about life, about people, about myself, I owe it all to JU. I owe every bit of it to JU. If I've been able to hold the pen again, it's for JU. None of it has been a cakewalk for me. Everything had its own ups and downs but I'm glad I've been able to learn from each and every one of my experiences and incorporate those lessons in my life.
So, here I am. Alive. Back again on social media. Back with a new book. My stories are different this time. My life has been a whirlwind ever since I stepped out of school. And in the midst of it all, I kind of lost the ability to think or write about love the way I used to.
I don't know when my book is going to hit the market, but hopefully I won't be exploited this time since I have chosen KDP. I hope my readers like what I've written.
And through my new stories, I hope to reintroduce myself.
Hope you're having a nice day. ❤
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