In my last blog, we discussed about the most common triggers that give rise to insecurity. Now that we've got to know them better, what are we waiting for? Let's fight it together!
You certainly didn't think I was gonna leave you with a bunch of problems merely identified, did you? I couldn't have done so, because being Flawsome isn't just about knowing our flaws. It's primarily about accepting them and embracing them. It's about "changing what can be changed", remember? And Insecurity is one such bitch! It isn't a scar across your face that's permanent and cannot be concealed without layers of foundation or removed without surgery. It's something in your mind. It's a demon sitting in there prompting you to be a loser, everytime you try to reach out for happiness, by reminding you of precisely those things that you've always wished you could forget.
Newsflash: It's high time you kicked his butt!
Now, how to kick his butt? Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you how. You can say, I have kind of become an authority on this subject.
(Just kidding!)
To kick Insecurity's butt, you must:
1. Let the dead past bury it's dead.
Your guy cheated on you, huh? Took fancy to some other ''prettier, sexier, funnier" chick? Let him go. Let it all go! What's meant to stay will stay. Believe in this and burn that sad chapter from the book of your life. I know it's hard. The memories are suffocating. They slice through your heart like a butcher's blade whenever you catch a whiff of that perfume or listen to an old song that you both loved to hum together to. Let it go, girl, let the dead past bury it's dead. Don't be like my friend Demi and let your insecurities make a fool of you. Reach out for happiness. Reach out for the "better" just like your guy thinks he did. Don't let that one incident change your worldview. Not every guy is an asshole. You certainly didn't deserve one and you should be glad that the trash took itself out without your having to move a finger. Be happy! Move on!
2. Beauty isn't everything.
YES! BEAUTY ISN'T EVERYTHING! It's something extremely temporary in it's effect and kind of tragic because it leads to errors in judgements. "A thing of beauty isn't a joy forever" because beauty like everything else is subject to depreciation. Beauty fades with time. And I know you've heard this million times before. So, let me come up with something new, if love is built only on the shallow foundations of beauty, it isn't likely to last too long even if beauty doesn't fade. It's just because one gets tired of it after a point of time. You are bound to get tired of eating marshmallows if you indulge too much in them, regardless of the fact that they are your favorite. Just like you forgot all about that shiny new toy once you found a newer toy that attracted your attention in the store. It doesn't matter whether this new toy was prettier than your old toy or not. It might not have been as lovely as the old one but it's still 'new', right? So, there's absolutely no reason why you should feel insecure about your looks when you see "pretty" girls around. Think of the kind of pain they'll have to go through when their guys, who had once made them feel like they were Goddesses, abandon them for newer varieties. Now who's at a disadvantage, huh?
3. Strive towards being beautiful inside.
A beautiful heart is more appealing long term than just a pretty face. And you shouldn't just have ''love" as your target when you strive towards having a beautiful heart. In fact, love shouldn't be one of your priorities at all. Love is uncertain. It's unpredictable. You cannot control another person's thoughts, instincts, urges and changing likes and dislikes. And if you are always on tenterhooks, trying to manipulate your partner, trying to control and restrict every aspect of his life, you'll just be regarded as a "control freak". Insecurities disappear when you're not in love. Because you don't give a shit about having to impress anyone. You can just be yourself, the awesome flawsome person that you are! Isn't that a great feeling? That's the feeling of true emotional independence. And that's how you should be regardless of whether you're in love or not! Be kind. Be generous. Not just to your beloved but to everyone. Because you receive what you give. Let everyone see what a beautiful heart you've got!
4. Learn to let go and go with the flow.
Let go. Don't try to control. Remember, what's meant to be will be. Quoting Hamlet, "There's Providence even in the fall of a sparrow," so you cannot quite make things happen the way you want even if you try your best. Go with the flow. You are unique and you were born to be the way you are. This is the body you gotta live with. You cannot go back in time and undo what's already been done. So, instead fretting about everything that's wrong with you and everything that you couldn't do right, be more of who you are. Trust me, the world will adjust. (Of course, don't be a psychopath, c'mon I didn't mean that) Once you make yourself a priority, once you put your own happiness on the highest pedestal, there'll be absolutely nothing that anyone does which can affect you negatively.
5. Dream big.
Dream big, babe! Don't be content with the moon when you can shoot for the stars. Make a list of all your superb achievements and also another list of the things you wanna do in your lifetime. Stick them to your wall, look at them every day and work towards fulfilling all of them, one at a time. Be ambitious. Be brave. Don't narrow down your worth to what other people think of you. What you think of yourself is most important and that will automatically reflect in the way your carry yourself. We are so often thinking about how 'we' come across that we dont really have the time to judge other people. And the ones who judge simply do so to cover up their own insecurities. So, don't judge others. And don't let anybody else's opinion of you affect you. Treat yourself better cause you are your own hero. Everyone is busy fighting their own battles. Be your own warrior and be good at it.
6. You are not the best and you don't need to be.
You are not the best and you cannot be. Nobody can be. One single person cannot be an expert at every possible skill and also be endowed with the looks and stature and graces of Apollo/Helen. It isn't feasible. You already know that? Well, I'm aware of it. But can you accept that? If not, it's about time that you do. Every person you come across is superior to you in some way or the other. And I know many of you must be thinking right now, "C'mon we know that too already. Unless you are a God or something, you cannot expect to be omnipotent and omniperfect." Okay. I will introduce y'all to Zeus someday. He was pretty omnipotent, but omniperfect? Ahem. To be perfect, you gotta be in control all the fricking time. But Zeus couldn't even control his celestial d**k! Which is why his wife/sister Hera was so pissed off always! Which is why she couldn't kick Insecurity's butt! Perfect or not, Zeus was a super chilled out dude. And Hera was not. She was always on the lookout for which mortal/immortal woman Zeus was banging from time to time. She was thus always anxious to be the "fairest" of all Goddesses, the best! I'm sure the Trojan war wouldn't have taken place at all if Hera knew how to be Flawsome. But she clearly didn't know. Wait, am I even qualified to judge Gods?
The happiest person is the one who has no insecurities. And such people are rare to find. But look for miserable people who are foaming at the mouth with insecurities, you will find them everywhere. So, what's your goal? You cannot have zero insecurity for certain, until and unless you decide to renounce all wordly pleasures and go live on the mountains but you can surely be happy if not the 'happiest'. And to be happy, really really happy, you need to be Flawsome. You need to be in love with your awesome flawsome self! This won't happen overnight but why not give it a shot?
You certainly didn't think I was gonna leave you with a bunch of problems merely identified, did you? I couldn't have done so, because being Flawsome isn't just about knowing our flaws. It's primarily about accepting them and embracing them. It's about "changing what can be changed", remember? And Insecurity is one such bitch! It isn't a scar across your face that's permanent and cannot be concealed without layers of foundation or removed without surgery. It's something in your mind. It's a demon sitting in there prompting you to be a loser, everytime you try to reach out for happiness, by reminding you of precisely those things that you've always wished you could forget.
Newsflash: It's high time you kicked his butt!
Now, how to kick his butt? Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you how. You can say, I have kind of become an authority on this subject.
(Just kidding!)
To kick Insecurity's butt, you must:
1. Let the dead past bury it's dead.
Your guy cheated on you, huh? Took fancy to some other ''prettier, sexier, funnier" chick? Let him go. Let it all go! What's meant to stay will stay. Believe in this and burn that sad chapter from the book of your life. I know it's hard. The memories are suffocating. They slice through your heart like a butcher's blade whenever you catch a whiff of that perfume or listen to an old song that you both loved to hum together to. Let it go, girl, let the dead past bury it's dead. Don't be like my friend Demi and let your insecurities make a fool of you. Reach out for happiness. Reach out for the "better" just like your guy thinks he did. Don't let that one incident change your worldview. Not every guy is an asshole. You certainly didn't deserve one and you should be glad that the trash took itself out without your having to move a finger. Be happy! Move on!
2. Beauty isn't everything.
YES! BEAUTY ISN'T EVERYTHING! It's something extremely temporary in it's effect and kind of tragic because it leads to errors in judgements. "A thing of beauty isn't a joy forever" because beauty like everything else is subject to depreciation. Beauty fades with time. And I know you've heard this million times before. So, let me come up with something new, if love is built only on the shallow foundations of beauty, it isn't likely to last too long even if beauty doesn't fade. It's just because one gets tired of it after a point of time. You are bound to get tired of eating marshmallows if you indulge too much in them, regardless of the fact that they are your favorite. Just like you forgot all about that shiny new toy once you found a newer toy that attracted your attention in the store. It doesn't matter whether this new toy was prettier than your old toy or not. It might not have been as lovely as the old one but it's still 'new', right? So, there's absolutely no reason why you should feel insecure about your looks when you see "pretty" girls around. Think of the kind of pain they'll have to go through when their guys, who had once made them feel like they were Goddesses, abandon them for newer varieties. Now who's at a disadvantage, huh?
3. Strive towards being beautiful inside.
A beautiful heart is more appealing long term than just a pretty face. And you shouldn't just have ''love" as your target when you strive towards having a beautiful heart. In fact, love shouldn't be one of your priorities at all. Love is uncertain. It's unpredictable. You cannot control another person's thoughts, instincts, urges and changing likes and dislikes. And if you are always on tenterhooks, trying to manipulate your partner, trying to control and restrict every aspect of his life, you'll just be regarded as a "control freak". Insecurities disappear when you're not in love. Because you don't give a shit about having to impress anyone. You can just be yourself, the awesome flawsome person that you are! Isn't that a great feeling? That's the feeling of true emotional independence. And that's how you should be regardless of whether you're in love or not! Be kind. Be generous. Not just to your beloved but to everyone. Because you receive what you give. Let everyone see what a beautiful heart you've got!
4. Learn to let go and go with the flow.
Let go. Don't try to control. Remember, what's meant to be will be. Quoting Hamlet, "There's Providence even in the fall of a sparrow," so you cannot quite make things happen the way you want even if you try your best. Go with the flow. You are unique and you were born to be the way you are. This is the body you gotta live with. You cannot go back in time and undo what's already been done. So, instead fretting about everything that's wrong with you and everything that you couldn't do right, be more of who you are. Trust me, the world will adjust. (Of course, don't be a psychopath, c'mon I didn't mean that) Once you make yourself a priority, once you put your own happiness on the highest pedestal, there'll be absolutely nothing that anyone does which can affect you negatively.
5. Dream big.
Dream big, babe! Don't be content with the moon when you can shoot for the stars. Make a list of all your superb achievements and also another list of the things you wanna do in your lifetime. Stick them to your wall, look at them every day and work towards fulfilling all of them, one at a time. Be ambitious. Be brave. Don't narrow down your worth to what other people think of you. What you think of yourself is most important and that will automatically reflect in the way your carry yourself. We are so often thinking about how 'we' come across that we dont really have the time to judge other people. And the ones who judge simply do so to cover up their own insecurities. So, don't judge others. And don't let anybody else's opinion of you affect you. Treat yourself better cause you are your own hero. Everyone is busy fighting their own battles. Be your own warrior and be good at it.
6. You are not the best and you don't need to be.
You are not the best and you cannot be. Nobody can be. One single person cannot be an expert at every possible skill and also be endowed with the looks and stature and graces of Apollo/Helen. It isn't feasible. You already know that? Well, I'm aware of it. But can you accept that? If not, it's about time that you do. Every person you come across is superior to you in some way or the other. And I know many of you must be thinking right now, "C'mon we know that too already. Unless you are a God or something, you cannot expect to be omnipotent and omniperfect." Okay. I will introduce y'all to Zeus someday. He was pretty omnipotent, but omniperfect? Ahem. To be perfect, you gotta be in control all the fricking time. But Zeus couldn't even control his celestial d**k! Which is why his wife/sister Hera was so pissed off always! Which is why she couldn't kick Insecurity's butt! Perfect or not, Zeus was a super chilled out dude. And Hera was not. She was always on the lookout for which mortal/immortal woman Zeus was banging from time to time. She was thus always anxious to be the "fairest" of all Goddesses, the best! I'm sure the Trojan war wouldn't have taken place at all if Hera knew how to be Flawsome. But she clearly didn't know. Wait, am I even qualified to judge Gods?
The happiest person is the one who has no insecurities. And such people are rare to find. But look for miserable people who are foaming at the mouth with insecurities, you will find them everywhere. So, what's your goal? You cannot have zero insecurity for certain, until and unless you decide to renounce all wordly pleasures and go live on the mountains but you can surely be happy if not the 'happiest'. And to be happy, really really happy, you need to be Flawsome. You need to be in love with your awesome flawsome self! This won't happen overnight but why not give it a shot?
No comments:
Post a Comment